August 31, 2010

Orthognathic Surgery

I am making myself sick. My surgery countdown is on...10 more sleeps. I am now becoming f@$king terrified. I've just spent the last hour reading about the surgery. Looking at pictures. I want to vomit. I laugh when people say "well this is your choice". Is it? My bite is jaw and neck are always hurting. I just want to feel like a normal person again. I just wish that Orthodontics had been different when we were kids. Today there are so many options for kids to hopefully avoid surgery. All I know is I don't want Tyler to go through this.

I'm crying as I write this...just finished begging my husband to take a few more days off. I need him home to help me the first week. I'm not going to be able to do anything. My head is going to basically look like a big bruised watermelon. I won't be able to talk normally for a month because I'll have a splint attached to the roof of my mouth. Bruising, swelling, pain, numbness....I just want to cancel the damn surgery.

August 29, 2010


Summer is almost over. This summer has been a whirlwind of confusion. It all started with a fight with my mother that has lead to 3 months and counting of silence. Then a diagnosis of Hypothyroidism which explained alot of how I've been feeling for the last couple of years. Doctor has been monitoring my blood pressure which is out of wack. Now to top it all off I am headed for a double jaw surgery that I really didn't want to have to do. But my dentist (hubby) and orthodontist both suggested for it to be done. My bite is screwed and I suffer from TMJ (pain in my jaws, neck, shoulders etc. due to clenching). I'm terrified of this damn surgery! I'm going to be wired or should I say elasticized to death (currently have 22 hooks in my mouth awaiting the surgery). Recovery is 6-8 weeks....problem is I have no help. I'm not sure how the hell I'm going to get Tyler to school, or take care of everything at this house. Did I mention there is no sick time when you have your own business. I'll be just getting home and it's payroll time for the office. I'm gonna have to train my poor hubby for that one 'cause I know I'll be too fried on pain drugs to be able to calculate anything. I'm going to be on a liquid diet (no that does not include wine)...can you say grumpy? My family is used to have meals cooked for them every night of the week...they won't know what to do with themselves. My house is a mess right now. Our well just ran dry at the cottage. I have guest arriving this weekend to celebrate the long weekend. Ty starts school on Tuesday and I leave for my surgery on Wednesday. There just isn't enough time to get everything done. I blew up at my husband and a friend the other night. I'm a wreck!!!